lgbt miscellaneous
snippets concerning the lgbt movement, homosexuality and transsexuality
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08.01.2024
while i lean towards the idea that sexuality is biological, aka inherent/inborn, it frustrates me quite a lot that we - by which i mean homosexuals - have no ability to actually research that idea, question it and explore alternative theories. we have no ability because if ever - which i find extremely unlikely - we discovered that sexuality is down to early development or some other environmental factors... or if we, that's slightly more likely, discovered it's down to a mixture of biological and environmental factors (any external impact on the brain is biologically and biochemically reflected and becomes biology anyways)... it would immediately be used to claim that must mean it can be changed, and if it can be changed, it should.
even biology isn't a safe haven, for i know if we discovered which genes are responsible for sexual inclination, we would immediately be offerred gene based conversion therapy. if we sought to research the tendencies we have as a community - perhaps patterns that repeat a lot in our population and bear exploring in terms of their nature and connection to the gay experience, and the impact on it - say, if we discovered that certain kind of a relation to one's father is common with gay men or lesbians, or that we have an elevated rate of specific personality disorders, it would be used for penting the claim that this relation must be causative to homosexuality, and therefore our sexuality can be somehow changed by psychotherapy and fixing whatever disordered childhood relationships broke. it's disturbing, the way we have no way to find out about ourselves, organise ourselves based on it to deal with our problems as a community, because any information of our unifying experiences, biological background and anything akin, is just twisted into a clue on how we can allegedly be "fixed" or, if that proves itself impossible, used as a stick to beat us with, employing accusations of perversion, mental weakness, immorality, insanity and whatever else.
since any information is just used against us, it's widely believed the better state is to not have any, and few trust straight scientists to research us without the intention of getting rid of us in their mind. it gets to the point we cannot possibly deal with the grooming problem in our community, among other things, as calling attention to it is only used to fuel the "gay pedophile" stereotype. mostly though, the amount of power that is taken from us by taking away knowledge about ourselves and the ability to understand ourselves, is truly immense. this is a reflection i'm having since i was discussing the ways freud believed homosexuals resolve early childhood complexes, and while describing how lesbians are supposed to have never resolved the castration complex, i felt the need - compulsive need, despite the fact i was talking to another lesbian - to clarify that he didn't believe it can be resolved in adulthood; just because it has become my default assumption that people's brains overall would immediately jump to "so, if we lead a lesbian to successfully resolving it in adulthood, she can become normal?" (sidenote freud himself did allow the option that people are born gay and just inclined naturally to resolve the complexes in the atypical ways; he wasn't convinced these experiences were causative for homosexuality, believed everyone was bisexual at birth but with natural "predispositions").
there's no space for us to explore ourselves, no space whatsoever, because the default is just hostile assault on any information we come to possess; and we fight tooth and nail to prove we have no choice, that even if they seek the option to "fix" us they wouldn't find any, because we know it's having no choice, passivity, it's being a "victim" which saves us from judgement and violence - the moment there was an actually successful conversion method, there would be a more of less vocal pressure to take that route. we know deep down that an option to become "normal" would never exist as just an option, and would become an obligation sooner or later, we would be chastised for not taking it even though it is there, because these who think we're making a choice want us to immediately stop making it, because even though it doesn't harm anyone materially and i've heard no other arguments than naturalist and religious ones, their sense of superiority runs so deep that the only form of sympathy they may have for us is pity - which is in its nature not a feeling one has for their equal, but an emotion one experiences to the weaker, the inferior - sympathy under the condition that we are "also victims" who didn't want and didn't choose our "unnatural" state. tolerance hinges on us being "also hurt", and we know few are actually open to seeing our sexuality as "morally neutral", not something that needs to justified by having "no choice" and petitioning for the only form of sympathy they are willing to afford looking down from their ivory tower. how frustrating it is to have the knowledge that should be empowering and unifying be just another weapon in assault on our very existence.
31.03.2023
for whatever reason it misses a lot of people that sexualisation is not the same as being sexually desired. sexualisation means parts of your body, behaviour, identity etc being seen as inherently sexual and/or indecent, objectively - individually finding something hot is not the same as sexualising it
compare being into a female nurse but also being able to see her as a professional vs seeing her only in a sexual context and her doing her job as sexual before anything else
compare finding a woman's exposed chest attractive vs thinking her chest and herself showing her chest is sexual and indecent and she's being in some way sexual or provocative to you by letting you see her in that state
in straight men, sexual desire is often the same as sexualisation cause they have the societal male gaze and their desire is shaped by and reflected in the framework of objectification of women and a power relation/power imbalance
but gay desire is rarely equivalent to sexualisation
in fact, women assuming that being free of sexualisation = being free of being desired, flited with and seen sexually, or that women's only spaces/spaces safe for women must inherently be strictly platonic and free of desire and being seen through the lenses of attraction is at very least passively homophobic
women desire other women, firt with them, want to have sex with them, fantasise about them sexually etc -- being only around women does not mean not being desire and it's something straight women need to just cope with
upholding ofc that sexual harassment and unsolicited advances are always wrong, but just being the object of gay desire is not something straight people need safe spaces from for any reasons which aren't homophobia, really
26.03.2023
it's insanely difficult to counter the problem of pedophilia / predation / grooming in the gay community. just the fact that drawing attention to it is difficult cause straights weaponise it against us, if you point out that the gay community has old men who prey on young boys and are pedophilic towards them heteros will immediately use it to claim gay men are predators who rape little boys and that even gay men admit it. and i think a lot of gay men excuse it and act like it's ok to cope with both own trauma and internalised homophobia cause they already feel gay men are predatory and don't want to make it worse by conceptualising a gay man raped them when they were kids. straight + bi women project their age gap fantasies onto gay men cause they don't see them as real people in concept. and that's how it is on this bitch of an earth
exact same with female beauvoirans (from simone de beauvoir who raped little girls and shared them with sartre in case someone didn't know that) with the addition of the fact that in general lesbian sexual abuse is very very much noticed and pointed out when it concerns straight girls. which is nearly never, few lesbians are so deranged to prey on straight girls and it's too risky, same sex attracted female predators prey on younger gay + bi girls who are alienated due to their attraction and if the victim is an obvious dyke (see: me) nobody cares cause they see it as #justlesbianthings. once again in this case drawing attention to it will only provoke worry about "corruption" of straight girls by lesbian rapists and as a result more homophobia, and so drawing attention to it causes more homophobia and homophobia leads to further alienation of young gay and bi people and makes them easier targets and less likely to ever bring it up in order to not be used as examples of their community just being predators and in order to not be told they were "corrupted" into presently being gay and would otherwise grow up straight. and how it is, once again, i suppose